by Teo Bishop
from the Huffington Post
This is not the first time that I’ve felt slighted by one of my parent’s lack of interest in the mystical. I may be the only member of my family who would rather talk about religion than football. Our holidays, even the religious ones, are uncomfortably secular to me. I’d almost prefer my family to be fundamentalist Christians, if for no other reason than they might be willing to talk about theology as though it really meant something.
Theology, or Polytheology, or Process Theology — these subjects are rich soil to me; good dirt for planting, and worth tending to. I’m pretty sure that my parents have different ideas about deity than I do, but I don’t know that because we’ve never actually had a conversation about it. I’ve done more heart-to-heart’ing about religion on my blog, Bishop In The Grove, with my readership of relative strangers than I ever have over dinner with my family.
You just don’t talk about those sorts of things.
…I’m the silent Pagan in the bunch. I’m the candle burning, incense igniting, ritual doing, tarot card reading Pagan, who would be perfectly happy to discuss why they choose pray to Jesus over someone else, or what prayer really is, or whether their worship of a transcendent God ever feels lonely, or what they think death might be like. I think about these things, but I don’t know how to bring them up without starting an argument.
Perhaps this is why interfaith dialogue is so difficult, too. If we don’t know how to begin a conversation about faith and practice with our own families, how are we supposed to talk across the greater religious divide? It’s much easier to remain silent, to avoid the awkward moments, to shore up our defenses in the event of a possible attack.
I get disappointed, though, when we avoid these conversations, because I have this deep desire to be known by the people in my life. When they don’t seek to understand me, when they don’t try to figure out what I mean when I say Pagan, or Druid, or any number of other tradition-specific terminology, I feel whitewashed into being simply The Son, or The Brother. I revert back to being all of the things I was by default, and none of the parts I chose for myself are brought into the light to be seen.